


Borhap Paranormal

by barullera



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF, Queen (Band), Wellington Paranormal, What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Alternate Universe - Vampire, M/M, One Shot, some hints of Gwilym Lee/Joe Mazzello
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-15 18:24:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17533886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barullera/pseuds/barullera
Summary: Some strange wild dogs are terrifying the neighbourhood? Or maybe some dogs in jeans? Well, worry not. Officers Lee and Mazzello are on the case.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This one shot is part of the universe of my other story Dead but delicious https://archiveofourown.org/works/17172230 and based on the movie What We Do in the Shadows' spinoff tv show Wellington Paranormal. It's not necessary to watch the show to read this, as I took some pretty big licenses with it. But it's one of the funniest shows I've ever seen and I fully recommend it.

****

'Lee, Mazzello. A word' Sergeant Malek called the two police officers that made up the newly-formed Paranormal Division of the city's police.

Officers Lee and Mazzello waited for all the rest of the officers to file out of the Briefing Room and then they followed their boss to the secret Paranormal Unit office, a small room, little more than a cupboard, that was hidden behind the shelf where they kept all the office supplies of the station.

The Office of the Paranormal Division was covered wall to wall by articles, photos, maps and information about the paranormal activity in the city. Cabinets were filled with extensive research, testimonials, cold cases or just anything unusual or out of the ordinary that may be of interest for the Division. The whole office was the work of only one man: Senior Sergeant Rami Malek. A short, sharp-jawed man with eyes of steel who was now sitting behind the small desk in the cluttered office.

Officer Mazzello and Lee entered the office in silence. Mazzello, the most experienced of the two, and also the smallest, had little difficulty in navigating the space and arranging himself with dignity on one of the two chairs in front of the desk. Officer Lee, on the other hand, newer in the force and the tallest officer in history, didn't have it so easy. First, he had to bend almost in half to accommodate the low ceiling of the office. Then, he had to arrange his long limbs clumsily trying to avoid the clutter, but only succeeding in leaving a path of fallen papers, books and magazines in his wake. He tried to fix the mess he had created, but Sergeant Malek told him to forget it, so officer Lee turned around, threw another pile of books to the floor and the model of a spaceship, and continued. Finally, he squeezed himself into the chair, awkwardly folding his arms and legs to itself. Mazzello looked at him half-disapproving, half- amused and nudge the taller man with his elbow a few times. Lee's face was red and nudged officer Mazzello right back, although in a more subdued manner, probably because of the lack of space.

Sergeant Malek just looked at the mess for a moment then his eyes moved towards the two officers. He knew they weren't the sharpest nor the strongest in the force, but they were keen and had an open mind. They were also the only two to had accepted his invitation to go to the Paranormal Division office and stayed long enough to hear what he had to say. And Malek took that as a sign that they were just the people he needed.

'Gentlemen, we had had a call' said Malek suddenly and the officers stopped nudging each other and looked at their boss 'Apparently, a pack of wild dogs has been seen around the University Campus, chasing and attacking students.'

'With all due respect, sir' said officer Mazzello 'but, shouldn't that be a call to animal control?'

'If it were truly a pack of wild dogs, yes.'he made a pause to create suspense 'But I don't think it is' he said finally.

Office Lee gasped.

Sergeant Malek made another pause, pleased with the success of the first one. But this one went too long and officer Mazzello got impatient.

'So, what do you think it is?'

Sergeant Malek showed them the tablet he had in his hands, in it there was a picture of the poster for the movie of the Twilight Saga _Eclypse_. He was pointing to one of the figures.

Officer Mazzello looked confused.

'Taylor Lautner? You think Taylor Lautner is terrorizing the campus?' asked Mazzello incredulous.

'That's just typical! All those young Hollywood types think they can come here and do whatever they want. Just last week I saw that weedy one from Hunger Games just pushing people off the sidewalk and being rude to everyone.'

'First, that wasn't Josh Hutcherson, it was Mrs Riley who is about seventy and manages the pet store. Second, she was pushing people about because you managed to trip over the snake cage and all the snakes went sliddering away. She was trying to catch them. Remember? It took us three hours to find all the snakes.'

'Oh, yeah. You are right. I did wonder why he would be working at that store. I thought maybe he was doing some research for a role.'

'Gentlemen!' interrupted Sergeant Malek. 'It is not Taylor Lautner, but rather what he was in the movie.'

'Bad?' suggested Mazzello.

'No, no, he was ok. You are just too critical.' defended officer Lee.

'No, I mean.... 'at this, Sergeant Malek leaned closer and looked to both sides. The officers also looked to both sides but saw nothing. Then Malek leaned even closer and whispered 'a werewolf'

Officer Lee gasped again.

'Are you sure?' asked Mazzello.

'Positive' Malek opened a folder that was right in front of him 'There are several accounts of people seeing these dogs' he accompanied the word by using air quotes' and they describe them as looking larger than regular dogs, they were walking in two legs and one of them was wearing jeans. Now, I know that they may still be regular dogs, but since today it's full moon, I think it's worth checking.'

'Regular dogs wearing jeans?' asked Mazzello.

'Some types of dogs were jeans. I follow dogsinjeans on tumblr so I know quite a bit about it.'

Officer Mazzello discreetly wrote the name of the blog to check it out later.

'What I want you to do is go to the campus and see whether they are dogs or werewolves. If they are dogs, call animal control.'

'And if they aren't?' asked Officer Lee.

'From my research on lycanthropes, I can tell that they don't like silver.' said Malek looking at his tablet.

'Are you looking this in wikipedia?' asked Mazzello.

'Of course not!' said Malek quickly turning off the tablet and putting it in a drawer. 'Do you have any silver on you?'

Both officers looked down to inspect themselves they shook their heads.

'This will have to do then' he gave them a taser and a stake.

'Will the stake work on them?' asked Mazzello, picking it up.

'It's worth the try. What is the worse that could happen?' said Sergeant Malek.

'They'll get mad?'

'Ok, no stakes.' Malek took the stake back. 'Just... good luck'

After both police officers were gone, Sergeant Malek contemplated the utter devastation in his office. He rested his head on the desk and breathed deeply. He needed to get a bigger secret office, of a smaller police officer.

 

 

  
/\oo/\

 

 

  
'Look! This bulldog is wearing skinny jeans!' exclaimed Officer Mazzello laughing.

'Ohhhh' squealed Lee 'and did you see this one? It's a chihuahua! How did they get jeans so little?'

'They must have them made especially. Do you think you could get some on a cat?'

'Maybe, depending on the cat. Are you thinking of getting some for Peaches?'

'It would be cute. And it's about time we change our Halloween costumes.'

'But we are great as Luigi and Mario!'

'Yeah, but it's getting harder and harder to get that pink dress on her, and don't talk to me about the tiara.'

'Well, we'll come up with something. After all, we can't lose our title of Best Costume at the station's Halloween Party.'

'Did you hear something?' said officer Mazzello suddenly. Thet felt silent for a moment.

'Screams' said Lee.

They exited the car and run in the direction the screams were coming from. There was a party going on in one of the dormitories, but nothing looked out of the ordinary.

'We should split' suggested Mazzello.

Lee nodded and went one way, taking the direction of the line of trees that surrounded the campus. He considered taking out his flashlight, but the full moon was shining so bright, he didn't think it necessary.

Some yards away, Officer Mazzello could hear soft voices in the distance. The place was dark as the moon hid behind the building. He took his flashlight out. He continued moving quickly and, when he turned the corner, he saw, in the distance, hidden half in shadows, a very large figure with a huge dark mane.

'POLICE STOP!' he shouted without hesitation, pointing the flashlight right at the creature.

He had prepared himself to see a terrifying being, some hairy rabid monster of some kind. But when the light shone and the strange figure became two young men, he breathed a sigh of relief. Obviously a pair of lovers who had been looking for a quiet place for an intimate moment. He blushed a little, thanking the heavens he didn't surprise them in a more compromising situation.

Once he got closer, he was able to see them better. What he had thought was the mane of the beast was, in fact, the curly hair of the tallest one. And he was very tall, about as tall as Lee, and Lee was freakishly tall. The young man was also very pale, but his cheeks and lips were deep red. He was dressed in old-fashioned clothes. The shorter one was blonde and had long hair. He had a deep frown on his face. He was wearing tight leather pants, an open-necked white shirt and white fur coat. Mazzello thought that these new fashions were getting stranger and stranger.

Both of them looked at him nervously.

'We had a report about some disturbances around here, some wild dogs chasing and attacking people. You two haven't seen anything... strange around have you?'

'No, nothing strange' the blonde answered.

He was about to go look for Lee when the tall one spoke.

'Well, now that you mention it, there were some strange noises a while ago'

'Oh right, yeah, some howling and the like' the blonde agreed.

This peaked Officer Mazzello's interest. It sounded exactly what they were after. He decided to call Lee.

'Copy Mazzello. What's your location?' answered the tall officer. Mazzello could see him standing some yards away.

'Turn around' he said and when he saw his partner turn around, he signalled his location. Lee signalled back and rushed to his side.

'What's all this then?' he asked, out of breath. Mazzello made a mental note of adding some extra training to their routine. He couldn't have him look like he was out of shape.

'They said they heard _howling_ ' he emphasized the last word, hoping Lee would understand the implication.

' _Howling_? Where?' he asked the two men.

'From the woods over there' said the blonde pointing towards the woods behind the building.

'Right. The werew... ' Officer Mazzello started coughing loudly, looking pointedly at his partner. They couldn't let the civilians know about what they were after 'I mean, there were dogs, obviously, there were wild dogs. No need to panic' Lee amended.

'We weren't panicking' said the tall young man, although he still looked nervous.

'Good' replied Lee.

'Great' added the blonde.

'We have it under control' Mazzello said, not wanting to seem like they didn't know what they were doing.

'We believe you' assured him the tall young man.

'Excellent' said Lee.

The four men looked at each other. If there were really werewolves around, they needed to get this two into the safety of the building and out of harm's way. Even a dog in jeans could cause a lot of damage.

'Well, thank you for your help. Now go back to your rooms before we arrest you two lovebirds for public indecency' said Mazzello in his 'tough officer of the law' voice. Lee hadn't managed to quite master it yet and always admired when the other man used it.

It looked like the blonde was going to argue you, but the tall curly-haired one, obviously the more sensible one, managed to drag him away. Probably to continue whatever they were doing in their own dorm room.

'Of course, officer, thank you. Good night.' he said as they were leaving.

'Night' called Lee, far too cheerful that it was proper, then looked at Mazzello who nodded towards the woods. 'Maybe we should call Sergeant Malek for reinforcements?'

'Let's see what we find first. Maybe it IS a pack of wild dogs.' answered the red-headed.

They looked in the woods for a few hours, but only at dawn they found something they thought promising at first, although it then turned up to be just a drunk from the party who had passed out naked. There were some scratches on his arms, chest and back, and he was very confused, probably hang-over. But other than that, he seemed to be fine. They gave him a blanket and took him to the station to sleep it off.

'Well, this was a bust. And we didn't even get to see a dog in jeans.' said Lee. The drunk was snoring in the back of the car, growling lowly from time to time.

'I guess.' answered Mazzello. There was something bothering him, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He shook his head.

'Do you want to come over later to play Mario Kart?'

'I can't. I have some old files I want to check. A series of disappearances that look suspicious. All in the same neighbourhood and going back at least a decade. I thought there might be something... unnatural about them.'

'Well, bring them with you and we'll see them together. And maybe play a bit of Mario Kart after?'

Mazzello smiled. He could never say no to Lee.


	2. Mazzello and Lee are on the case!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Officer Lee pines for a certain blonde, but Officer Mazzello is a professional and Sergeant Malek sends a friend request (still pending). Will this be enough to solve the case?
> 
> This fic might be in violation of regulation 43: inventing vaguely official sounding rules and laws without actually having any idea what I'm talking about. The 70's jargon is on point, though (say I, the clueless writer).
> 
> This is directly connected to the last chapter of my [ Dead and Delicious fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17172230), so you'll need to read that first to make sense to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the credit of this reading as nice as it does goes to my fantastic beta [ wombatpop](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wombatpop/pseuds/wombatpop). If you haven't already, go read their stuff! Their WWDITS/Queer Eye crossover is pure perfection! ❤

The night after their failed stakeout Officer Mazzello was waiting in the car for his partner, best friend and neighbour, Officer Lee. That had been their routine since the taller man had moved next door to him. He would leave his house early, wait in the car for about five minutes and then he would see Officer Lee leaving his house, a piece of toast in his mouth, rushing to the car as he finished buttoning his shirt and fastening his vest. He would always greet Mazzello with friendly enthusiasm and ask about his day and his cat. And when Mazzello asked about him, he would cheerfully spend the rest of the journey chattering about everything and nothing as the other man sipped the rest of his coffee, feeling his bad mood slowly dissolve into nothingness. Unlike his more enthusiastic partner, Mazzello never got used to working in the night shift and found it difficult to deal with staying up all night and sleeping during the day. 

Usually, as Officer Lee finished his toast, some crumbs would make their way to his vest and Mazzello would wait until they reached a red light to brush them off his partner’s chest. Lee would smile gratefully at him, making his cheeks heat up. 

Every single day was the same. Except for this day. This day was different. Fifteen minutes have gone by and there was no sign of his partner. Mazzello frowned at his empty coffee cup and then looked back at his cellphone. Sixteen minutes and still no sign of Lee. He started to worry. Had something happened to his partner? Should he take his gun and break down the door? Or call for reinforcements?

He was just about to take action when the door to Lee's house opened and the man himself stumbled out of the doorway. His movements were slow and sluggish. His uniform was all there, but it looked crumpled and disarrayed. When he entered the car, he murmured a greeting and Mazzello could see that his eyes were glassy and disoriented, and his skin looked pale and clammy. Any admonishment about his lateness died in Mazzello's throat. 

‘Are you ok? You look sick. Are you sick?’ Mazzello said touching his partner’s forehead with his hand. It felt cold, so no fever.

Lee shook his head.

‘I’m fine, Mazz.’

‘You don’t look fine. Maybe you should stay at home. You know that going to work while sick goes against regulation number 74 in the Police Manual. You don’t want to get in trouble with the boss.’

‘Regulation 74 only applies to epidemic outbreaks,’ said Lee smiling weakly.

‘Well, it may be an epidemic. We just don't know yet. You may be patient zero. It would be irresponsible to just go around exposing everyone to it.'

They stopped at a red light. There were no crumbs on Lee’s vest, but his clothing was a mess and Mazzello’s hands itched to fix them. He turned his head back to the road and fixed his eyes straight ahead as his hand tightened around the gear lever. All of a sudden, another hand was placed over his, patting it lightly. He turned to see his partner looking at him.

‘Honestly, I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep a wink. There’s… There’s a lot in my mind, that’s all. You don’t have to worry about me, Mazz.’

Mazzello smiled and turned his eyes back to the road.

‘Please, I was just worried about having to do all the paperwork by myself.’

‘You can’t fool me. I know you care.’ Lee chuckled.

‘You’re imagining things.’

They kept driving in silence for a few more minutes. Lee staring blankly out of the window and Mazzello throwing him looks of worry every so often.

‘You know, Lee,’ Mazzello finally said trying to sound casual. ‘It’s not uncommon for officers of the law to become overly preoccupied with their cases and have them affect their personal life.’

Officer Lee turned to look at him. Confusion was written all over his face.

‘What I mean to say,’ Mazzello continued, ‘is that maybe I was too insistent with this case and maybe I pushed you too hard. And now you’ve gotten too involved with it and it’s hurting you.’

‘What?’

‘The case. Is that what kept you up?’

‘Oh. Oh! Yes, the case. Sure, that’s what’s on my mind,’ Lee said suddenly blushing and looking away.

‘I know the feeling, believe me. But you need to learn to set some boundaries. Separate your work life from your normal life. Maybe get some hobbies, go out from time to time.’

‘But Mazz, you don’t have any hobbies and you’re always taking files to continue investigating at home.’

‘Crime is my hobby, Lee. And the cases I investigate at home are actually old ones, completely different from the ones we work together. You see? Clear boundaries.’

‘But just a few days ago you…’

‘Just promise me you will try to put the case out of your mind when you are at home, you need some rest. No police officer can do their job properly unless they are giving it their 100%’ 

‘The case, right.  __ I promise you, Mazz, I won’t think too much about it,’ Lee answered with a small reassuring smile. Then the car fell into silence once again. 

Of course, nothing could be further from Lee's mind than the case. All his thoughts were currently occupied with images of bright blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes and the most gorgeous smile that he had ever seen. He had spent all of the previous day unable to sleep, replaying their conversation, lamenting his awkwardness and clumsiness and creating scenarios in his mind in which he was smooth and cool and Ben, unable to resist him, threw himself into his arms.

Under normal circumstances, he wouldn't even hesitate in telling Mazz everything about the beautiful blond man. Although they had never discussed romantic relationships in the past, the red-headed man was his best friend and he had always given Lee excellent advice when he had needed it. And he really needed it now. But things were too complicated. Ben was staying in the house of their suspects and, while Lee didn't even doubt that his presence there was completely innocent, it did make him a person of interest in their case and Mazz would surely not approve in Lee pining for him. He would think it completely unprofessional. And professionalism was very important to him.

On reaching the station, Mazz pulled Lee aside and started to fix his uniform with a frown. It was only then that Lee noticed how messy it looked and his face became deep crimson. He knew that before being demoted and starting on the night shift, Mazz had been a pretty big deal as a detective, and now he wondered if maybe he was a little bit embarrassed about having Lee as his partner.  

‘There,’ Mazzello said and then stepped back to admire his work. ‘We can’t do anything with the creases, but at least now you look a little bit more presentable.’

‘I’m sorry Mazz.’

‘Just remember that if you want people to take you seriously as a police officer you need to look the part.’

‘I’ll make you proud, Mazz. I swear.’

‘You already do.’ Mazzello answered with a smile, patting his back and going inside.

Lee just stood there, looking down. He felt a pang of guilt in his chest. Mazz wouldn't be so proud if he were to find out all of the unprofessional things he was thinking about in regards to Ben. He would be so disappointed with him! What could he do? Of course, the most obvious answer was to forget all about Ben, push his feeling away and pretend they've never existed. But he knew deep down that would not be possible. Even after only one meeting, he knew that the man had ingrained himself into his soul and there was not going back. What other choice did he have? Disappointing Mazz, the only person, other than Sergeant Malek, who had ever believed in him, was not an option. 

Suddenly, Lee was hit by a wave of inspiration. How could he had been so blind? The answer was obvious: he needed to solve the case and prove Ben’s innocence. Only then would he be able to pine for him as much as he wanted and tell Mazz all about it. 

Burning with a new purpose, Officer Lee strode into the station, sat at his desk and started to work. 

 

/\oo/\

 

After two hours of intense research and an extra hour of going through the police archives, Officer Lee made his triumphant entrance into the Office of the Paranormal Division of the Metropolitan Police clutching a file in his hands. However, the glory of his arrival was somewhat diminished by the fact that he arrived half an hour late to their meeting with Sergeant Malek, covered in dust and cobwebs, cheeks flushed and obviously out-of-breath. Officer Mazzello, already sitting there with a straight back and uniform in pristine condition, was silently throwing daggers at him. 

‘Officer Lee,’ Sergeant Malek said with a slightly sharp tone, although his face remained impassive, ‘so nice of you to joined us. Take a seat, please.’

As awkwardly as ever, Lee managed to squeeze himself into a chair, file still in hand. But before he could make his big announcement, Sergeant Malek continued speaking.

‘Your partner has just presented the report of your stakeout last night. Do you have something to add to it?’

‘Erm… no? But I...’

‘Excellent. Then we must move on. I compiled here a file with all the information I could find about Mr John Deacon,' Malek said handing the file to Officer Mazzello.

‘There’s not much here,’ he commented, frowning as he read the single page inside the folder. 

‘The police database is down, so I compiled the information from his facebook profile. Most of his information was private, so I sent him a friend request. Once he accepts it, I’ll get a lot more on him.’

‘If he goes to university, maybe we can get more information from them, sir,’ Mazzello suggested.

Sergeant Malek’s mouth hung open and his eyes became unfocused as he processed Mazzello’s comment. After about half a minute, a slow smile formed in his lips.

‘That is actually a pretty good idea. I’ll write it down in this pink post-it note and place it next to my computer screen so I’ll remember.’

And he did so, with the lethargic calmness that characterised him.

‘Well, now that is done. Were you able to figure out what kind of creatures we are dealing with?’

‘We haven’t been able to confirm it, but it’s almost certain that they are vampires, sir.’ Mazzello answered promptly.

‘I see.’ 

‘It’s the humans’ presence that we find puzzling. Is it common for vampires to socialize with them in the long term?’

‘It can happen… but wait, humans? As in more than one?’

‘Yes, sir. There is John Deacon, that we already knew, and another one. Officer Lee spoke to him this morning, didn’t you?’

‘I… yes, I did.’

‘And what can you tell us about him?’ Malek asked with interest.

‘Erm…’ Lee hesitated. What could he say? That he had gorgeous eyes? A dreamy smile? That he looked like an angel? That he was the most enchanting creature Officer Lee had ever seen? He was getting flustered.  

‘Like his name maybe?’ Mazzello said trying to prompt his partner.

‘Oh! Yes! I know his name! Ben… Ben Hardy.’

‘Ben Hardy,’ Sergeant Malek repeated pensively. Then he typed the name on the computer. A few seconds later, a look of disappointment appeared on his face. ‘He’s not on Facebook. Do you know anything else? Where does he live? What university does he go to?’

‘No, just his name. Sorry.’

‘You need to find out more about him. As for their presence in the house, humans helping vampires under the promise of eternal life it’s not unheard of. So it’s possible they are actually helping them.’

‘But maybe they don’t know they are vampires!’ Lee exclaimed. ‘It’s possible that they are just their friends.’

‘Yes, it’s possible. But that would mean that Mr Deacon and Mr Hardy are under a lot more danger. I have never heard of vampires being friends with humans for long. If they are actually unaware of the other’s condition, it’s possible they are being used to attract further human prey and it won’t be long until they become victims themselves.’

Lee gasped horrified. Now more than ever he needed to make sure that the case was solved and that Ben was safe. Suddenly, he remembered the file he was clutching.

‘I have a lead!' Lee exclaimed and opened the folder to show the surprised others its contents. ‘This is a report from 1973. Police Officers Jones and McNally responded to a noise complaint at Garden Lodge neighbourhood, just a few houses down from our suspects. There was a party going on that had gotten rowdy. One woman, Sally James, a friend of the host and a known rabble-rouser, became verbally abusive towards the police. Apparently, she threatened them and told them that she was friends with some dangerous character from the neighbour and that they would get back at them if the police officers didn't… erm, some very colourful expletives. Then she proceeded to run off. Before they could pursue her, some fatal mishaps occurred in the party and they forgot about her.'

‘This is all very good, officer Lee. I just don’t see how…’

‘No, but wait! There's still more!' Lee interrupted excitedly. ‘Because the very next day, Phil James, her husband, reported her missing! The police officers ignored his claim. Apparently, Phil wasn't a great husband and Sally had lovers all over the place, so they assumed that she had run off with one of them and closed the case. But even her closest friends insisted that she didn't and her disappearance was never investigated.

Officer Mazzello’s eyes opened wide and he looked at his partner with excitement.

‘So she must be another victim for our case! And maybe that friend in the neighbourhood she was referring was one of our suspects! If we can find some proof of the link, we’ll be able to get a search warrant for the house!’ Mazzello finished. 

They both looked at Sergeant Malek expectantly. The Sergeant looked at the file in front of him for a few moments, before looking up and nodding.

‘It’s a long shot, but it’s worth pursuing. According to the report, after that night, the house was abandoned. So there’s still a chance you may find something there to support your case. Go tonight, I’ll keep trying to gather more information on Mr Deacon and Mr Hardy.’

Both officers nodded and exited the small room, leaving their boss to google searching and social media stalking. In the hall, Mazzello patted Lee on the back with enthusiasm as he smiled at the taller man. He looked proud and Lee felt another pang of guilt. They needed to solve the case as soon as possible. 

 

/\oo/\

 

Despite the house having been abandoned for more than four decades, that night it looked nothing but. As they parked their car, they could see bright lights and music coming from inside.

‘Teenagers maybe?’ suggested Mazzello. 

‘Yeah, it’s possible. That’s gonna make finding anything useful for the case harder,’ Lee said as he got out of the car.

When they got closer to the house, the music became louder and more distinct.

‘Is that Diana Ross? Is that what kids are into these days?' Mazzello asked.

‘I guess. Maybe they are listening to it ironically.’

‘What’s that even supposed to mean?’

They rang the doorbell once, and then a second time. Nobody answered although they could see people moving inside and hear them partying.

‘Maybe the music is so loud they can’t hear it,’ Lee suggested.

Mazzello touched the door and it opened slightly.

‘It’s open. I think we can proceed with caution.’

Lee nodded.

The house was indeed full of people, but they weren’t teenagers. And the place certainly didn’t look like it had spent the last four decades abandoned. 

‘Do you notice something strange about all this?’ Lee asked, as a woman wearing a golden bikini and huge sunglasses rollerbladed past them dancing to the music’s beat.

‘Yes,’ Mazzello said nodding slowly. ‘It’s obvious, isn’t it?’

‘So you also think they are…’

‘... in clear violation of city regulations on the number of people for private gatherings.'

‘...ghosts. Wait, what?’

‘Lee, there’s like 80 people crammed in here! It’s a fire hazard!’

‘Mazz, that lady over there just went through a wall! I don’t think we need to concern ourselves with city regulations.’

‘Not  concern ourselves?! With city regulations?!' Mazzello said sounding incredulous like he just couldn't make sense of the words. ‘Are you hearing what you're saying? We are police officers!'

‘But they are dead!’

‘That's no excuse!' Officer Mazzello turned to a tall woman who was dancing next to him. ‘Excuse me, would you mind telling me…'

Whatever he was going to say was drowned as the woman threw her arms around him.

‘It’s a party, baby! You need to loosen up!’

‘Lady, I’m not a baby, I’m an officer of the law. And I loosen up on the weekends only. Now unhand me and point me in the direction of the organizer of this event.’

The woman pouted but let him go. Officer Mazzello immediately started to fix his uniform.

‘That’s him right there, sugar. Kenny Everett.’ She pointed at a tall thin man in the corner.

‘Thank you. Now move along.’ 

Kenny Everett was dancing as he switched the record in the record player.  _ Love Train _ by The O’Jays started to sound and people cheered. Kenny looked up laughing and saw the two police officers approaching.

‘Hey, dudes. This isn't fancy dress. Can't say I don't dig, though,' Kenny said looking Officer Lee up and down. ‘Looking for some fun, baby? I got some in my room, we can go chill. You can bring your boy if you like.'

‘Erhm… no. No, thank you.’ Lee said, taking a step back.

‘Sure, baby? I got the good stuff, you dig? Fox like you deserves nothing but the best.’

Kenny Everett took a step towards Lee but soon saw his way blocked by a fuming red-headed police officer.

‘Large party without a proper permit, provision of non-licensed alcohol and possession of illegal substances. Should I also add harassing a police officer to the charges?'

‘Wait, you really cops?' His smile disappeared, replaced by a horrified expression. ‘SHIT, THE PIGS!'

In a second, the party turned into mayhem. The ghosts started screaming and running, sometimes even through the officers themselves. Kenny Everett was gone.

‘Come on! We have to get him!’ Mazzello shouted. Officer Lee sneezed miserably. He was actually allergic to ectoplasm.

After forty-five minutes they managed to find him again. He laughed when Mazzello cuffed him, but soon his amusement disappeared when he realised that he couldn't escape the handcuffs.

‘Iron,’ Mazzello said with a smirk. ‘I have them made especially.’

‘This is police brutality!’ the ghost shouted.

‘I assure you, they are still regulation.’ Lee sneezed again. He was breathing with difficulty and his eyes were red and watery. Mazzello looked at him concerned. ‘Why don’t you go outside and take some air? I can finish here.’

‘Thanks.’ Lee said followed by another series of sneezes. 

He tried to hold his breath as he made his way outside, but the garden was also filled with ghosts that had escaped the party. They didn't really pay him any attention, they seemed to have forgotten all about their presence and were re-starting the party right there on the lawn. That was probably against some sort of regulation, but the ectoplasm was filling his nose and he couldn't think. He decided he needed to leave the property altogether, otherwise, his mind was never going to clear. 

Just as he stepped on the sidewalk, something hard collided with him sending him sprawling to the floor. A heavy weight fell on top of him leaving him breathless. He looked up but his bleary eyes could only make up a dark shape against the gleam of the streetlight.

‘Are you ok?’ a voice said, but it sounded distant. He felt a hand touching his cheek. ‘Officer Lee? Gwil?’

All of a sudden, he recognised the voice. His eyes became focused and saw Ben’s face hovering over his.

‘Ben?’

‘Don’t move, you might be hurt.’

‘I think I’m on the floor,’ Lee slurred.

Ben chuckled. Someone said something behind him. Lee couldn’t make up the words but they sounded exasperated.

‘You guys go, I’ll take care of this and meet you there,’ Ben answered to the voice. Then Lee heard someone huff and steps rushing away.

Lee’s mind started to clear slowly. He noticed that Ben was still on top of him, straddling his hips. He was holding up a hand in front of his face.

‘How many fingers do you see?’ he asked sounding concerned.

‘Three.’

‘And what year is it?’

‘2019.’

‘Wow, really?’

‘Don’t  _ you _ know?’

‘No, yes, of course, I know. I was just joking. I think you are fine.'

‘I am, really.’

‘Good.’

‘You are still sitting on top of me.’

‘I know.' Ben smiled wickedly at the other man. Lee blushed but smiled back.

‘Aren’t you planning on getting up?’

‘Actually, no. I’m quite comfortable. Do you want me to get up?’

‘I… no, not really. But I’m still on duty.’

‘Fine, I’ll let you up, but just this once,’ he said with a wink and then stood up, helping Lee at the same time. Soon, they were both back up-right.

‘You look a mess,’ said the blonde, and started to fix Lee’s hair.

‘You look perfect.’ Lee whispered, then he seemed to realised what he had said and he covered his mouth, horrified. Ben just laughed.

‘So smooth. I bet you say that to all the boys that knock you down on the street.’

‘No, not to all of them. You’re just special,’ Lee said shyly.

‘I’m glad to know. I wish we weren’t always meeting when you are on duty.’

‘Maybe we could…’

‘Could what?’

‘You know, meet. When I’m not on duty. If you want. You don’t have to.’

‘Like a date?’

‘No! Like... an outing between friends.’

‘Oh, pity. I would have like to go on a date with you…’

‘Really?’

‘Yes, but if you don’t want to…’

‘No! I’d love to! If that’s what you want.’

‘I do.’

‘Maybe tomorrow? I work nights, but maybe we can have brunch?’

‘Perfect.’

‘If you give me your phone number we could…’

‘I don’t have a phone,’ Ben said apologetically.

‘Oh, then I guess I could just pick you up? At 11 o’clock?’

‘I’ll be ready.’ Ben smiled brightly.

‘Lee!' a voice called back from the house. Suddenly Officer Mazzello appeared behind him, making the taller man turn around. ‘Are you feeling better? We need to move Everett to the car and I need some backup, in case he plans to attempt another escape. Do you think you are up to it?'

‘Yeah, I think so.’

‘You got me worried, I thought…’ Suddenly Mazzello caught sight of Ben peering at him from behind the taller man and frowned. ‘Who’s this?’

‘Oh, Mazz, this is, mmmm….’

‘I’m Ben Hardy,’ said Ben stepping up and extending his hand towards the other man. ‘You must be Mazz, Gwil’s partner.’

Mazzello didn’t move.

‘I’m  _ Officer Mazzello _ , and  _ Officer Lee _ and I are in the middle of a delicate operation.’

‘Oh, sorry,' Ben said with a sickly sweet smile and put his hand away. ‘I'll let you continue with your work. I'll see you tomorrow at eleven,  _ Gwil _ ’

Then he gave the taller man a noisy kiss on the cheek. 

‘Bye,  _ Mazz _ ,’ he said to the other man then run away, leaving one man blushing intensely and the other, glaring.

Once the blond man disappeared from view, Mazzello turned his glare to Lee.

‘Is that who I think he is,  _ Gwil _ ?’

‘Mazz I can explain…’

‘I can’t believe it!’

‘Mazz, I was just…’

‘This is fantastic!’ Mazzello said excitedly, grabbing Lee by the shoulders.

‘Really, I was…. Wait, what?’

‘It’s incredible!’

‘You… you really think so?’ Lee asked hesitantly.

‘Of course! I should have thought of it!’

‘You should?!’

‘Yes! Pretending to date him and getting information from the inside! It’s a great idea!’

‘Oh…’

‘You'll charm him into telling you everything! Maybe you should wear a wire or something, just in case.'

‘Mazz, I don’t think…’

‘No, you are right. We'll wait until the fourth or fifth date. Maybe I should go with you, like undercover. Pretend to be a waiter or something. I could wear a wig and moustache!'

‘No, Mazz, that’s not….’

‘Let’s put Everett in the car and go back to the station. Sergeant Malek will be so proud of us!’ Then he gave Lee a big kiss in each cheek. ‘You are the best partner I could have ever hoped for. If we go on like this, we’ll make detectives in no time!’

Officer Lee watched as his partner went back into the house, then sighed and followed him walking slowly and keeping his head low.

He had the feeling his troubles were just beginning.  


End file.
